The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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