I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Sext me about skeletons
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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