Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
