My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You smell like stripper and shame
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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