Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
