this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
