people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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