I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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