just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
There's always time for handjobs
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
