Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
