At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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