i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
