My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
