So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
