Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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