she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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