do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
