My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
