Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
