What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dignity is for republicans.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
