all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
