matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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