dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Send help, water and tortillas.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
