It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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