You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
