I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
