I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
