That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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