Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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