Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
