I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
