This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
