Buhtt sex?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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