Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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