I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
What changed your mind?
Being sober
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
