I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He kissed a someone with a penis
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
