so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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