we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
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