I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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