We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
