I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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