Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
