i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
