I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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