I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
