What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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