I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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