you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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