Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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