The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
